


Beneath the Surface

by Heyrrra



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: Cigarettes, Eventual Fluff, F/F, Swimming Pools, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, Weird Plot Shit, Whiskey & Scotch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:00:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24811219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heyrrra/pseuds/Heyrrra
Summary: Jennie finds herself doing stuff she never imagined doing.Rooftops, motorcycle rides and swimming pools and everything in between.
Relationships: Jennie Kim/Lalisa Manoban | Lisa
Comments: 14
Kudos: 70





	1. i. Beneath the Surface

**Author's Note:**

> I placed music that went with the scenes in between so... Be sure to check them out. I feel like they'll set the tone while you read. :)))

* * *

* * *

https://youtu.be/c_FPqQWbmnA

Rooftops weren’t her thing, she prefers the usual;  _ coffee shops _ , where her thoughts were blocked off by the constant chatter. If she was feeling a bit bold, most days. She’d probably say the parking lot instead with the empty cars and cigarette smoke that lingered in the air.

“You’ve been doing that for God knows how long…” 

Jennie looks back and catches her smiling slowly, rolling the cigarette between her fingers again and again. 

“Excuse me?” 

“Look Delilah, I wouldn't jump if I were you,” she walks closer and stops right where the light flickers, casting shadows on her face, and draping her in seemingly faded off darkness that drowns out her smile. 

“Look woman. I have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about.” Jennie turns away to look at the cityscape and cars that make the buzzing inside her head feel a little less invasive and a little more welcome. 

Jennie feels the weight of her stare, against the suddenness of the awkward silence that followed her own little outburst and for some strange reason finds the urge to take a quick peek, and finds her resting both arms on the metal railings, biting the cigarette between her lips and letting it stay there unlit before she clears her throat. 

“What brings you out here tonight?” the cigarette bobbing up and down.

The question startles Jennie, even though … if she thinks about it more, it shouldn’t, but it does anyway. The same way she finds herself a little startled by the everyday questions that she tries to go through with smiles and half nods and the occasional half lies that gives her enough room to get them off her back. 

“Surely not jumping.” The answer comes out a little too curt and sharp, even for Jennie’s own taste. 

“Are you always this charming?” She looks away for a second to take the cigarette from her lips, keeping it between her fingers before glancing back at her with a grin. 

“Are you always this nosy?”

Her laughter cuts through the evening cold, clear and unbreaking and for a quick second Jennie almost wavers. “No, you’re just incredibly lucky tonight.” 

This almost makes Jennie smile back.  _ Almost. _

“You… have a screwed up view about  _ luck _ .” Jennie looks closer, taking in the way she subtly shakes her head before smiling and how her bangs fall to the side whenever she leans in to catch the cigarette in her lips and how... after all this time, the damn cigarette is still unlit.

“That’s what they all say,” She burrows both hands inside the pockets of her bomber jacket and walks towards Jennie in a slow gait that makes her sneakers drag on the floor. “I think it's one of the things that makes me rather endearing.”

“I honestly can’t see the endearing part.” Jennie allows the smile to spill. Something about her was making Jennie not think. The buzzing in her head was beginning to settle to a murmur that got buried beneath the sounds from the city below. 

“Are you okay?” She whispers, making Jennie meet her gaze and focus on her eyes. She hopes it would have made her feel a little uncomfortable, like an unwelcome touch from a stranger, but it feels rather intimate, soft and… oddly enough not in the least bit invasive. 

“Why do you care?” Jennie turns away, the softness she sees was making her more… curious. 

“You look rather… sad.”

“Is this where the idea of me jumping came from?” Jennie laughs, waits out a beat before continuing "Maybe I am."

“Sad? Or jumping?” 

"The former, genius." there was a seriousness in her voice that made Jennie smirk. 

Jennie can't help but be drawn by the way she takes the cigarette from her lips and breaks it in two unequal pieces. Throwing it away as quickly as she focuses her attention over at Jennie, hesitating before she offers her a hand.

"Up for a little road trip then?" 

It's  _ odd _ , in more ways than one. 

"It'll be fun, I swear." 

She wants to take a step back, tear her gaze away from her intense honey eyes and lopsided grin that's doing a really good job at making Jennie consider such a wild idea. 

"With a  _ stranger?"  _ Jennie says slowly, allowing each word to settle. Hoping it makes for a good argument. 

"What's life without a bit of excitement? I promise… you won't regret it one bit." The whisper falls away. Her outstretched hand looking more and more out of place, against the darkness and the crisp August air. 

There's that  _ look _ that she gives, that makes Jennie nod and take her hand. It's strange, and yet quite familiar. She takes her time, biting her bottom lip before she nods once and briefly bats her eyes away in an effort to hide the slight blush that doesn’t go unnoticed. 

* * *

* * *

https://youtu.be/MfkN2BG0Y0g

Jennie finds most of her moments hazy and blurred out like a piece of grayed out photograph kept between pages of an old book, tucked away. She finds feeling  _ here  _ hard even when she tries, hard enough that it makes her head hurt. Like tonight, at that rooftop.

“Hold on tight, yeah?” Her voice breaks through the sound of wind.

Jennie does what she’s told, wrapping her arms around her waist. It’s her first time riding a motorcycle, and it feels odd. They take a sharp turn, making Jennie cling harder and closing her eyes tight, digging her cheek deeper into her back. 

“I don’t know about you but the night looks beautiful. Don’t be so scared. I won’t let anything happen to you.” The words roll against her better judgement, so she keeps her eyes shut despite wanting to believe her. “The best part is almost here, trust me, Delilah.”

Jennie hates the nickname.

Jennie hates a lot of things about her current circumstances, but her voice finds a soft spot in Jennie’s core and so she nods. Not knowing what good that’ll do except grate her face against the cool leather of her jacket. She takes a deep breath and pulls away a bit, allowing the wind to caress her on the cheeks. 

She steals a glance at her through the side-view mirror, something Jennie sees out of the corner of her eye. It’s brief, like taking a picture before she focuses on the road ahead of them, and the only thing Jennie remembers out of all of it is her wink. 

And as fast as the city lights made the sky look darker in comparison, they entered a long tunnel that cut off everything. She begins to drive faster, past lights, past signs that were beginning to look smudged the more Jennie looked. It stretched off for a while, seemingly unending. Until everything breaks free, lights from the city spilling and the scent of trees, her laughter breaking out into the night. Jennie’s lungs can’t breathe, not from pain, but more for emotion, and for a brief moment Jennie felt  _ there.  _ Existing. Pronounced. Against the night and her laughter that made Jennie laugh out, breathing in a new kind of air that fills herself with the thought of infinite possibilities. 

* * *

* * *

https://youtu.be/yvZN8OaPMKk

They continue off into the night, going farther and farther from everything that Jennie knew and the places that felt familiar. Down new roads and sights that tugged at the hidden wonder inside her. 

The motorcycle slows down near a closed off public pool. 

"Here, let me have your helmet." she turns to glance at Jennie whose focus was on the closed off gate and the giant  _ no trespassing  _ sign that covered most of it. 

"I didn't sign up for something illegal…" 

"It's not, when we're not caught," her voice hitches and Jennie sees the brief look of amusement before it's smothered with a seriousness that does nothing but make Jennie frown. "Look, it's not really illegal if they don't catch us, so I guess we'll have to be real careful and quiet." 

She turns the ignition off and waits for Jennie to climb down, before doing the same and taking the helmet away from Jennie's hands. 

Jennie tries to think through the consequences but the more she does, the more she finds herself walking with her towards the fence. 

"You go up first, I'll be right by your back." 

"I don't know if I'm crazy for letting you talk me into this or you're crazy for thinking I'd actually climb?" The exasperation in Jennie's voice was evident but it doesn't seem to bother her at all.

"Why not both?" She takes hold of the fence and tries to find her footing before hoisting her whole weight up, it makes her seem much taller. "You do it like so, when you get to the top, turn around slowly and jump off." 

The whole idea's insane, Jennie knows this but a huge part of herself is insane right now. She does the same, climbing up the length of the fence and finding herself breathless every time its frame shook from all the movement, stopping for a while before holding her hand up to hold on to the metal and finding her footing. Jennie reaches the top and sees her grinning like a kid at her, nodding to give her the cue. Jennie pulls her body up, turns around quickly and finds herself almost slipping as her foot misses by half an inch. 

The ringing in her ears was making it hard for Jennie to concentrate and for some time she feels confused and scared and out of breath. Clinging to the top of the fence, long enough for her to realize she's safe and that she's face to face with her worried face. 

"Are you fine?" Jennie doesn't miss the rise in her frantic whisper. 

"Yeah, yeah I am." she whispers back. 

"Here, do you think you could jump off? Or would you --" Jennie tries hard not to, but the way she said it and the way she looked at her annoyed her. 

"I can fucking do it!" 

Jennie's voice echoed out, and if it wasn't for the huge growing smile on her stupid ass face Jennie's bound to get all panicky and a little too anxious at the thought that they might get caught. 

"What are you laughing at?" Jennie gives her a glare before letting out a puff of annoyed air. 

It makes her stop laughing and she lets go of Jennie's hand. Something Jennie wasn't aware of until she felt the cold wind on her damp skin. "I'm sorry, it's just…nevermind. Look, I know you can. Go ahead jump over there." 

She nudges her attention towards the patch of grass that was kept untrimmed. 

Jennie lets go, not waiting to hear more of what she seemed to have wanted to say. The fall was hard, it gives her ankles the tingles upon impact that made her stay on her knees as she waits it out. She feels her fall beside her and sees the dried off mud that seemed to cake the whites of her Chuck Taylors. 

"You okay?" 

Jennie nods and pushes herself up. 

"Fine and dandy."

"You never know when to stop being charming… do you?" She shakes her head, ruffling her bangs as she laughs out the amusement mirrored on her eyes. 

"No..." Jennie tries to hide the smile but it sneaks out, just as she turned her back and went off towards the pool. 

Jennie follows her, towards the set of bleachers where one can sit and watch people swim. 

_ Why would people bother to? Watch… when there's nothing to watch at all? _

The question makes her frown, not that it mattered or bothered her. It was… a bit uncharacteristic of her to worry about such things that she knew the answers to. 

"Hey, cupcake! Over here!" 

She's standing by one of the bleachers off the farthest end. Jennie finds herself smiling at the streaks of white from the reflection of the pool on her face and how it makes it easier for Jennie to see the innocence in her aura. 

Maybe that's  _ it _ . What's keeping her  _ there _ . 

The  _ innocence _ .

"I hid this over there last summer and it's funny how it's still here." The bottle of Scotch in her hand reflected its brown hues all over their feet contrasting with the white and blue from the water. It was a quarter empty.

She slips her shoes off and sits by the pool's edge, dipping her feet tentatively at first. Trying to get them to get accustomed with the coldness of the water. 

"Don't you want to take a seat?" She gestures to the space beside her and grins. She opens the bottle and takes a full swig. "Here." 

Jennie doesn't take much convincing this time, throwing her sandals into the grass and keeping the ends of her dress from being blown at by the wind before she dips her foot, toes first into the water. It creates a little ripple that grows as she dips them fully, finding the water against her warm skin oddly comforting. 

"This...makes it better." 

Jennie looks at the open bottle in front of her. 

"I don't know what made you think there's something great about this night… I just don't see it?" The question comes out rather loudly, and it takes Jennie a split second to realize what's happening. 

"You'll know later." her answer was small. Something about the way it falls flat between them makes Jennie regret talking without thinking it through. 

Jennies nods instead and takes a sip, it tasted like wood and rubber -- in a good way that bit and dragged along the back of her throat. 

* * *

* * *

https://youtu.be/5eMMzvKK2NA

"What's wrong?" 

"Huh?" the question didn't make sense… not at first. 

"What's bothering you tonight?" She asks again. This time a little warmer in tone. 

"What makes you think I'll tell you?" Jennie takes another sip and allows the warmth of the drink to burn through her throat. It feels  _ great.  _

"What made you come all the way here with me then?" She retorts, knowing full well Jennie is bound to talk sooner if not, then she figures a little later.

"Don't you get tired of asking questions?" The exhaustion in her voice was genuine. 

"Nope." She takes the bottle from Jennie and takes a longer drink. "Asking makes people talk. It's not much, but I find talking a little liberating when it comes to feeling blue, don't you think?" 

The genuinity in her voice and the ways she's looking at Jennie without an ounce of judgement in them was refreshing. 

"I guess …" 

"Look unless you're a serial killer on the loose, I wouldn't mind. I mean… we might not see each other again so it doesn't really matter, right? I'm not really someone who goes around town telling people of other people's secrets. Not my thing." She holds her hand up in the air, a sort of silent promise. 

"What's your  _ thing _ then?" 

"Good question. I... don't know." She shrugs and smiles widely.

Jennie breaks out in laughter, almost choking. 

"You don't know? And here you are preaching about all  _ this. _ " 

"What's wrong with that?"

"Everything's wrong with it. You don't just go up to someone you don't know and ask them why they're sad… or assume they're jumping or… ask them out on a motorcycle ride, or trespass! For goodness sake!" Jennie kicks the water, sending drops all over. 

"Do you...not like it?" Her voice was tentative, more reserved than her usual forthrightness. 

"It doesn't matter if I do or don't. It's… if it's right or wrong." Jennie deflates, sounding more tired than …argumentative. 

"Huh, I didn't really think about it being...wrong." She takes a quick sip of the Scotch and plays with the water with her feet. Creating little waves. 

Jennie stays silent. Suddenly the night felt old, like it was something out of a magazine back home… a little glossed over and worn off. 

"Look… I have a problem…" Jennie lets out a deep breath, and finds her not looking but knowing full well she's listening. "It's about a sensation I feel day by day. It sucks. I can't…" Jennie finds herself taking the bottle away from her and taking one long drink, the whisky starts to work its way to her head and for a moment she feels her blood feel more alive and warm inside her veins and finding her voice again. "I find it hard to feel reality. It's like I'm here but not really  _ here _ and I don't know how that fucking works out but you bet it does and it's bothering everyone around me because they think there's something wrong with me and I hate that! Okay? I hate that! Having people see what's wrong when I can't!" 

Jennie sees her reach out and she instinctively flinches away. 

"It sucks! Being asked if I'm fine and suddenly being confused if I am or not just cause I don't feel entirely there. Sometimes I think about pretending answers to their questions and it hits me that I've been doing that my whole goddamn life!" 

She feels the tears sting and wipes at it, a little too hard, the skin around her eyes was beginning to hurt. 

"Hey… it's fine…you know? Not knowing the answers to their silly questions. I mean… Don't we all? Not knowing the answers to everything? At least at some point in our lives we don't and maybe someday we might…" 

Jennie doesn't know how to make sense of her answer and so she looks back a little too dumbfoundedly. 

"We just, uhmm… find a different way of letting reality hit us, that's all, for us to understand that it's there." She smiles softly, the little corners of her lips dipping. 

"I don't… understand." Jennie admits a little too embarrassed. 

"Don't worry I don't either." A slow building chuckle escapes her and she stands, taking another swig at the bottle of Scotch that was, Jennie finds almost empty. 

She takes her jacket off first, then her white t-shirt and pulls off her jeans. She gives Jennie a quick laugh and a wink before jumping into the water. 

The jump throws water everywhere and it soaks most of Jennie's dress. 

"Come on! The water's great!" She said through clenched teeth and a tight looking smile before she dips her head, disappearing briefly and coming back up for air. "Why don't I show you? What I mean?" 

Jennie doesn't know what did it.  _ It's probably the Scotch _ , she thinks or it's probably her smile she mumbles beneath her breath. She finishes the remainder of the drink in one gulp and takes her dress off with shaky hands, letting it drop and pool by her feet before running off to jump into the water. 

Jennie finds the water cool, clinging to her warm skin. She takes time having her head submerged and finding bubbles everywhere and the weird way water made things look more distorted beneath its surface. She keeps the air inside her lungs still, just long enough for everything to settle down around her and then coming back up to release it in a gasp and breathe in fresh cool air her lungs were hungry for. Jennie sees her by the other edge, looking at her with an expression she couldn't read. She swims closer to where she is and hits the water around her, splashing her with water on the face. 

"Hey!"

"Why do you look so  _ sad."  _ Jennie teases.

"I'm not." 

"Then why the long face?" 

"I was just thinking about stuff." She looks at Jennie, intensely, like she was trying to read more off of her. If Jennie didn't hate the thought of it. She'd say she was reading her soul. 

"And?" 

"How does it feel like?" 

"Huh? I ... I can't follow you." 

"Here," she takes Jennie's hands and allows her fingers to fall between the spaces of Jennie's own. "How does this feel?" 

Jennie stops, for a while and focuses on nothing but the sensation that starts stirring down the pit of her stomach.

"Warm." She breathes out.

"Good." She smiles, a small one that disappears right after. "And this?" 

Jennies tugs at the collar of her shirt, pushing her by the shoulders and pulling her beneath the surface of the water right after, where there's nothing but silence and the pounding in their ears and the weird way their lungs screamed for air and yet the comfort from her touch. She goes up towards the surface first leaving Jennie to stare at what's left; bubbles and ripples and begins to understand what she means by it. 

She comes up and the same feeling of her lungs not wanting to breathe for the thought of filling it with air but with emotions comes crashing all at once and the heavy realization how reality hits her when she's feeling. That moment where she breathes in air after being overwhelmed by beauty, that moment where she finds herself staring, when the tears come, when her heart loses a beat, that moment is now. And Jennie understands she's  _ living _ and that's reality. That's  _ here _ . 

Out of excitement Jennie pulls her. Towards her. Maybe it's the way the moonlight made the water look more silver than blue, and maybe it's the way she's smiling with a hint of pride not for herself but for Jennie, or maybe she has had more Scotch than she could take or maybe… she just wants to. 

She leans in and finds her lips against her own and how the warmth in her center rises up to her chest and cheeks. She's holding on to the invisible current that she feels pulling her closer and wanting more of her. Jennie feels her lean in and kiss back, wrapping her arms around her waist and smiling into the kiss. 

"I told you it's going to be a great night." It comes off as a whisper, something that closes the distance between them when they pull away from the kiss and Jennie finds herself rolling her eyes at her smug smile and calling her a dumbass. 

* * *

* * *

https://youtu.be/wCt9eQ2UYhg

Everything was tinged with a soft orange when she turned off the gas in front of the bar they came from and met that night. Jennie's dress was beginning to smell like lavender and a hint of mint that laced her bomber jacket. The cool leather and the heaviness of the fabric kept her warm from the swimming. 

"Here." Jennie takes it off and hands it back. She was leaning forward against the fuel tank, giving Jennie a look that comes off as a mix between amusement and exasperation. 

"Keep it, Delilah." 

"Urgh, I hate it when you call me that, I have a fucking name." Jennie lets out a gruff groan. 

"You never told me."

"You never asked." 

She laughs and shakes her head, giving Jennie a look that makes her smile in turn. 

"Fine, Lisa Manoban… and you keep it." 

"Jennie."

"Jennie?" 

"Yeah." 

"Jennie what?" 

"Just Jennie… for now." She feels the smile breaking out and chuckles at Lisa's confused face.

"So I don't get a last name?"

"No, you get a kiss and one hell of a great night instead Ms. Manoban." 

Something about this exchange feels a lot like goodbye and Jennie silently hates it. She wants it to go on, but knows it shouldn't.

She laughs and it makes the warmth inside her sear off. "Shouldn't you be thanking me for  _ the  _ great night? A last name would be good." 

"Nice try, Cassanova. Maybe when ...we meet again." Jennie silently wishes. 

"Deal. For now… you're Jen-Jen." 

She takes her helmet off briefly, laying it on the gas tank before she takes Jennie's hand and kisses her wrist. 

"Keep the jacket, and you take care yeah?" 

"Yeah...you too." 

She puts her helmet back on and starts the motorcycle.

"Wait!" 

"Hmmm?"

"Why do you smoke unlit cigarettes?" It's weird how Jennie finds herself blurting that out of the blue. But she wants her to stay a little more. Maybe stay overnight. 

"Let's keep that for when we meet again, Jen Jen. Goodnight." 

She drives off and Jennie finds a different kind of heaviness settle, making her shiver. She pulls the jacket over herself and buries her hands in the pockets. She feels for something inside the left one and pulls out a crumpled paper. 

**_Lisa Manoban_ **

**_Xxx-xxx-9958_ **

**_Call me?_ **

  
  
  



	2. ii. Beyond the Surface

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nice to see you  
> How you doing  
> Did you know you're  
> Really something
> 
> Anybody up for Lisa's part?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who finds Spotify easier when reading. Cause I think going backand forth with YT is kinda idk, time consuming lol here's the link: 
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/user/31l7fyuryyqfkstcc4sf3puh2ehm/playlist/3R6xxrltrpEAvcxPW0qNzN?si=jYuQ7l5wQ2KiAv5Whr4ogA
> 
> It's already in order. From part i to ii. (Except for Lana's Yes to Heaven cause that one's a demo and was not released)
> 
> Anyways hope you guys enjoy

* * *

https://youtu.be/1OijD72t4XY

She liked watching how sunlight poured in through the windows and spilled all over the top of the tables. What she doesn't want to admit is the fact that she likes watching people pass by, past the same glass windows she's been staring at for the past fifteen minutes. It was a habit that was hard to break; watching. She figures it isn't  _ that  _ bad, she isn't being creepy at all -- no. She likes… watching people and their nuances, watching enough most days she's able to paint them on her beaten sketchpad from memory or captured with the lens of her old camera she keeps in her bag. 

She leans against the counter, fingers itching to pull another stick of Esse from her back pocket and placing it between her lips. Something to keep the nervous ticks at bay but decides against it. It's not a really good idea to have, let alone do on a work day, but then again… she was never a stickler for rules anyways. 

The little bell gave off a faint ring that echoed out, enough to get her to look up at the customer and find herself smiling. 

"You cut your hair?" Her voice was nothing short of a whisper, but Lisa could hear the surprise that was evidently there.

She looked out of place and weirdly enough like she belonged there too, with a cup of coffee in hand and the sunlight casting a soft halo against her frame. Lisa can't help but chuckle at the surprised look on her face and how odd it was that she was finding it rather endearing. 

"It's been a while…" Lisa could hear all sorts of unasked questions from the way she tried to avoid her gaze. She says nothing in return, just stands there fidgeting with the cover of her coffee cup.

"Is this awkward?" Lisa tries again, hoping it gets her to talk at least. 

"The hair cut? Or the part where I haven't called or texted since that night?" she laughs for a bit, something soft that echoes out around them.

"Shouldn’t that be my line? But both." Lisa pushes her eyeglasses back into place with her fingers and gives her a smile. Something to ease the invisible tension that seemed to hang around in the air.  _ And for no apparent reason,  _ she thinks. 

"Can I get a croissant and answer you after?" 

Lisa's laughter sounded foreign to her own ears, something about it seemed more free and loose. Lisa tried to see more of her face but the way she was standing against the sunlight was making it hard for her to. 

"Sure, why the hell not?" 

Lisa grabs a tong and clips one freshly baked croissant off the tray and into a paper bag. 

"Look, I did want to…" 

"Hm?" Lisa places the bag on the counter, nodding along to get her to continue. 

"Text you." 

Lisa waits for another minute but realizes that she was finished with what she had to say, even if Lisa thinks she deserves more than just  _ that _ . 

"You're never one for words huh? A year and that hasn't changed, I guess?" Lisa feels her shift her gaze on her. Steady and unmoving, something about it feels heavy and waiting… so Lisa continues. "Look, it's fine, don't beat yourself over it." 

“No. Isn’t that what makes me so… charming?” She walks closer. Lisa watches on as she places a hand on the counter, fingers tapping on its cold surface.

Lisa chuckles, trying to read the emotion in her eyes, but finding herself getting lost in the swirls of chocolate brown that grew darker the longer she looked. 

“How have you been Jen-Jen?” The question is left hanging between them, and Lisa feels the urge to reach out. Anything at this point to try and bridge whatever was lost that night, but she keeps the urge to herself and pulls out the Esse pack from her pockets instead. Taking one stick and cradling it between her lips. The faint taste of menthol takes her mind off of everything for a second, and she takes a drag out of instinct. 

“Things haven’t changed that much with you either it seems, you’re still as nosy.” She teases, eyes crinkling before a full blown laugh escapes her lips.

“And endearing?” The cigarette was making her words come out more muted, but she catches the familiarity in Jennie’s eyes and the slow building smirk that comes after. 

“I don’t know about the endearing part…” 

“You’re as charming as ever.”

“Oh, shut up.”

“Proves my point.” Lisa keeps her gaze steady, as if trying to breathe the entirety of her in and wondering if it was enough to keep the image in her memory.  _ For when she wants to sketch her.  _ “It's hot, so I'm keeping it relatively short.” 

She can’t help but be amused at the confusion on Jennie’s face. 

“The hair? I’m keeping it short for the summer… you asked, remember?”

“Yeah… Yeah, I guess I did. I wasn’t expecting it to be shoulder length… and,”

The cigarette’s taste was beginning to grow stale and like clockwork she kept it between her fingers for a bit before splitting it into two. Throwing both pieces to the trash bin.

“And?” her curiosity piqued, 

“I wasn’t expecting to see you like this…” 

There was something about her bluntness that made Lisa shake her head and run her fingers through her hair.  _ Maybe… it’s the vague hesitance that seemed to spill right through no matter how hard she smirked . _

“What? A black loose shirt and shorts? I love baking in comfortable clothes and it’s hot.” shrugging to try and get her point across.

“NO! I meant… I wasn’t expecting to see you again.” Jennie looked away, taking her hand away from the counter a bit too suddenly and tucking it inside her short pockets, a hint of red on her cheeks. 

“Is that why you didn’t call or text?” Lisa tries again, this time she hopes she didn’t sound too desperate.  _ She just wants to know.  _

“No, that’s not it either…” 

“Well, I have the whole afternoon…. Wanna go somewhere with me?”

She doesn’t miss the look of genuine amusement that takes over Jennie’s features before she keeps it hidden with what seems like a blank look; only it falls flat and they both laugh out loud.

“You and your penchant for going on unplanned trips, Manoban.” She shakes her head, taking a sip from the coffee right after and watching Lisa through the rim with her left eyebrow raised in a playful contest. 

Lisa feels the same urge wash through her and finds it harder and harder to keep in place. 

“You seem to like it very much.” She smiles back playfully, acknowledging the unspoken challenge in Jennie’s eyes. 

“Who said I enjoyed it the first time?”

Lisa ignores the joke and takes her apron off, throwing it rather carelessly on the counter. 

“Hey, aren’t you working?”

“It’s a pretty slow day today and I don’t mind a bit of fresh air, do you?” Lisa leans in, and finds a whiff of jasmine and sandalwood. “Come on… it’ll be fun.”

“I’m not really in the mood for spilling cappuccino all over your bike and shirt…”

“I have a better idea.” 

Lisa grins and sees Jennie biting her lower lip, nodding. 

* * *

https://youtu.be/QT8FPo2FRGA

And

https://youtu.be/0Gii0cT5Z5g

She finds herself looking, taking in every bit of the scene in front of her. Just little glimpses here and there. Something that lasts for nothing more than a minute, before she feels a smile tug at the corners of her lips when she sees Jennie pull her gaze from the window, finding Lisa’s eyes on her and smiling back in turn. 

"This isn't reckless…" Jennie whispers, holding Lisa's gaze for a while before it falters and she looks out the window again. 

She finds it a bit confusing, what Jennie meant and realizes a second too late.

"No." Lisa grins. 

Jennie nods, in a slow and easy way. Something in her smile feels new and Lisa's grin grows. 

"I… hate crowds. Everyone's too busy, too noisy. Everyone's in a rush and it's hard to keep up." She whispers a little loudly, just enough to be heard through the sounds of the train's rumbles. 

"It's even better with the windows down." Lisa blurts out. 

She really doesn't know why she finds herself saying things that were always out of place, it's a habit she can't seem to shake away and Lisa hates it most days but right now… seeing her with her brows furrowed and the delicate way her eyes looked more caramel beneath the sunlight, Lisa finds herself liking that part about herself more. 

"What?" 

"The view… it's better with the windows down. Here."

She reaches out and tries to budge the window open. It comes up quite easily and wind spills in ruffling her bangs and making her squint her eyes. Lisa falls back to her seat, plopping into it recklessly and seeing through the corner of her eyes the adorable way Jennie was rolling her eyes and hiding a smile with a smirk that falls away the moment she finds herself looking out the window. 

For a moment they both find themselves staring out at the way everything outside changes. Everything in passing and hazy and blurry and… Lisa thinks about how it's perfect and how it's also weird and familiar. 

It's the first thing that hits her, how everything seemed to fit when most of it shouldn't. Not when, Lisa thinks, they meet for one evening and find themselves outside each other's orbit for a long time. Now, here they were, and the thought falls away like it's been there all along... she incredibly misses  _ her _ . 

"How have you been?" she tries the question again

Jennie's gaze doesn't waver, eyes trained on the passing scenes she's trying her best to breathe in. 

"This year's been… the same as every other year."

"What do you mean." 

"Unexciting. Uneventful… boring. I meant  _ that _ Lisa." Her voice sounded smaller,  _ farther _ . 

It takes five seconds for Lisa to kick her on the shin playfully.

"Hey!" 

Lisa finds herself breathless. It's the most clichéd thing ever, she thinks. She's just sitting there, right across, so near… Lisa could lean in right there and then and kiss her on the nose if she was feeling a little brave. And yet she feels so far away, that finding Jennie's eyes on her own was enough to send Lisa into this tailspin of smothering emotions she doesn't know how to make sense of. But that didn't matter, none of it did. All that matters was the feeling of having the air knocked out of her and how incredibly addicting it felt.

She realizes she's been staring and that Jennie has caught on, sticking her tongue out and laughing right after. "Stop gawking sheesh…" 

Lisa’s gaze lands on Jennie's hands and for a moment she's transfixed at the way she's holding on to the edges of her blue cardigan. Watching the material pool into her fists. 

"What's one thing you wanted to do all this time but haven't had the chance to?" 

She sees something shift in Jennie's eyes and takes the chance and tries again. 

"Wanna grab ice cream or something?" 

"That's the first thing you could think of Manoban? Ice cream?" Lisa hears humor back in her voice and laughs to drive the remaining awkwardness in the air away. 

"What? What's wrong with ice cream?" 

"The beach…" 

"The beach is what's wrong with ice cream? I don't get it?" She teases, catching on to the way everything happening right now is making Jennie smile. Each passing moment was making her smile bigger. 

"That's because you're stupid…" Jennie retaliates and kicks her back on the knee softly.

"I'm serious…" 

"Yes, you're seriously stupid."

"I feel like I'm seriously awesome for taking you out on such a wonderful afternoon adventure." Lisa grins and scrunches her nose. 

"There's the endearing Lisa from before." 

"Miss it?" 

"That's debatable…" Jennie smiles and it makes Lisa feel bolder. 

She reaches out, a little hesitant at first but shakes it off the moment Jennie instinctively does the same. Jennie's hands felt warm, and Lisa drew little stars over and over on her skin until she thought they're etched into it. 

"I want to go to the beach silly…" Jennie whispers. 

"You're in luck then, next stop is the beach." She whispers back. 

"Really?" 

The innocence in Jennie's voice and question was enough to push Lisa into taking Jennie's hands close to her lips. Kissing the skin on her wrist softly, lips barely grazing. It smells of her, and it's making Lisa feel rather heady, finding everything about it rather intoxicating as she whispers a soft "Really." 

"And ice cream?" 

"And ice cream…" 

"Great." 

She feels like the moment should be taken in like a warm cup of hot chocolate. Lisa laughs against the warmth of her skin and nods along a little lazily. "Yeah, I feel like it'll be great." She looks up to find Jennie looking at her with an expression she can't read. She hopes she sees adoration and a hint of annoyance but knows how dangerous it was to assume sometimes so she shakes her head and smirks instead. "You should've texted me…" 

"Yeah, I should have…"

Lisa pulls away, not outrightly but gently. Turning her attention towards the open windows and shouting at the top of her lungs. 

"WE'RE GOING TO THE GODDAMN BEACH AND GETTING ICE CREAM!" 

"What the fuck Manoban, shut up!" Jennie pulls on the ends of her shirt to get her to sit back down. 

"AND WE'RE GOING TO HAVE SO MUCH FUN!" 

"For fuck's sake! Everybody's going to look at us." 

Lisa turns to look at her and wink, "Oh come on now… nobody cares… come do it with me. It's fun!" 

"No. It's embarrassing!" She huffs and Lisa finds herself laughing again. 

"Try it with me."

"No!" 

"Please?" She pouts and tugs on Jennie's hands. 

For a brief moment, she sees the hesitance in Jennie's eyes. "It's just like that pool thing… but, better." She whispers and it was enough to have Jennie standing beside her, the wind whipping her hair and a huge smile on her face as she shouted. 

"I WILL FUCKING KILL THIS WOMAN BESIDE ME SOMEDAY FOR BEING SO INSUFFERABLE!" 

It was enough to send Lisa laughing hard. 

"Better?" 

Jennie nods and grins "Better." 

* * *

https://youtu.be/Exfjute3JYY  
  
  


Lisa struggled to keep her balance as she maneuvered the bicycle to avoid the rock off the side of the road. Jennie's laugh fills her ear and finds it infectious despite the brief shot of fear that coursed through her veins. 

"Stop moving so much!" She screams against the wind and sun. 

"I'm not!"

"We're going to fall down or crash! You're dripping ice cream all over my cheek Jen-Jen!" She gets no answer from the woman holding onto her shoulders and standing on the back of the bicycle. "Jen!" she whines again and hears Jennie's laughter making her smile. 

"I did…" Lisa feels Jennie's breath against her ear, warming it into a shade of red as she blushes from the warmth. "And I'm still doing it."

Another cold sticky drop of ice cream falls on her cheeks and she swears to all the Gods, she'd let Jennie pour ice cream all over her if she gets to hear her laughter and happiness over and over again. 

"You're taking care of that after." She said rather loudly. 

"How?" 

"Not my problem Jennie…" she laughs. Swerving the bike off a beaten dirt path and hitting on the brakes to slow it to a stop. 

"What I had in mind isn't actually quite…  _ appropriate."  _

"What? You're planning on licking it off or something?" She looks up at Jennie behind her back and finds her blushing, unable to meet her gaze…

"I uhh… no… I mean…" 

"You should get flustered more often…" Lisa teased, nose crunching. "I wouldn't mind what you had in mind though…Just putting that --." 

Jennie leans to kiss her on the cheeks, right where the ice cream dripped.

"You should really be careful with what you wish for…" her whisper leaves Lisa feeling a certain way that she coughs away. 

"Ye..yeah." 

"So? The beach?" Jennie licks off ice cream dripping on her fingers and Lisa stares. She realizes something has shifted. Something about Jennie feels lighter.

"Why didn't you call?" She blurts out rather messily. 

"I was afraid." Lisa doesn't know which she finds surprising… asking it out of the blue or getting an honest answer.

"Afraid of what?" 

"Let's keep that for later?" She's given a small pout and Lisa finds herself nodding along despite wanting to know the what's and the why's now. 

"I really want to see the water right now." Lisa hears the same unguarded innocence in her voice she likes so much. They hold hands, not out of habit or instinct but just because they both know it feels right at the moment. She pulls Jennie gently, along the path where the leaves crunched beneath their shoes and the scent of salt lingered. 

“You and your want of keeping secrets.” Lisa chuckled.

“Keeps you wanting more anyways."

“Maybe it does.”

Lisa smiles more for herself and the situation. 

* * *

https://youtu.be/iZ0MybCijIU

And

https://youtu.be/xNVZ4fzkSu8

Her hair was beginning to smell like the sea and sun. Lisa combs through them slowly, burying her fingers and tousling them at the end. She does this over and over again until she hears Jennie sigh. 

"You're going to make me fall asleep." Jennie's eyes were closed and if Lisa looked closer she'd see the delicate way her eyelashes caught most of the sunlight. 

"That doesn't sound too bad." 

"Says my human pillow." 

Lisa doesn't say anything in turn. She feels like a broken record trying to convince herself that staring was fine and that it shouldn't be weird -- if only that was easier said than done then she wouldn't feel too guilty at gazing at Jennie on her lap. 

"Can you tell me why you haven't called or texted me now?" 

"You're very persistent…" 

"With things I like, yes." 

Lisa stops playing with Jennie's hair, choosing to bury her hands into the warm sand instead and looking towards the horizon. She's just  _ trying _ so hard not to stare.

"I got afraid of how you were making me feel." Jennie finally breaks the silence. She reaches up to play with a lock of Lisa's hair between her fingers. "You made me feel stuff I have a hard time identifying. I don't like that; not knowing…"

Lisa finds her scent intoxicating and calming at the same time. She tried to think of a witty remark to make things seem lighter than they should be, just because she hates it when things get too heavy. She tries, but finds the circles Jennie was drawing on her cheek and jaw distracting that she finds it very hard to. 

"It felt nice and scary. More scary if I have to be very honest with you… and I want to. Cause I think you deserve to know." 

"It did huh?" Lisa manages to say, looking down at Jennie briefly before she bites her lower lip to stop herself from kissing her out of nowhere. 

"It did… it felt so nice Lisa… I've never felt like that. Ever. Just warm, and cool at the same time. Like somebody finally gets me, and it's weird cause you were a stranger…" Jennie trails off, "and … you're still a stranger now."

Lisa shifts, not because the statement bit -- she honestly knows Jennie makes sense. She just guesses it wouldn't hurt this much.

"I didn't mean it like that." Jennie rushes in, sitting up to look at her briefly before she looks at the water by their feet. 

"I know." 

"Do you? Really?" 

"Kind of…" she nudges Jennie's shoulder and leans into her. Breathing in the scent of sandalwood and likes how it mixes with the saltiness in the wind. 

"I don't think you do," Jennie whispers.

“Then tell me?”

"It’s not like you’re unfamiliar to me. You’re not. It’s the spirit you have for things that’s foreign...” She whispered softly, “In a good way I mean. No. More like... in a chaotically overwhelming way. Different kind of foreign. Exciting. It scares me that I want to chase it with everything that I have.”

“Why does it scare you?” Lisa breathes out the question.

“Because it makes me feel like I could be invincible.”

For a moment, Lisa doesn't answer… doesn't even acknowledge the gravity of what that means. She's trying to keep up and link together pieces and trying to understand what it means for Jennie. 

“And… you don’t wanna be that?” Curiosity can be quite… well, Lisa thinks, rather persistent. 

“I don’t know what it’s like. I caught glimpses of it that night and it was beautiful. But I know beautiful things can be tragic. So I backed away.” Lisa doesn't miss the wistfulness in her voice. 

Lisa  _ understands  _ that. She knows how… easy it was for things to fall into that pattern, and how sometimes the easier way out seemed to make the most sense but then… she also knows it isn't satisfying, isn't worth it at all. 

“It makes me sad that it wasn’t strong enough to keep you grounded.” The truth of her thoughts come tumbling out and she feels a tiny bit better being open about it. 

“No. No, you don’t get it. It was strong enough to flurry me away.” There it was again, the subtlety of her being far away, mostly inside her thoughts and caged in, and Lisa wants her to be here with her. 

“You’re willing to give up the prospect of being wrapped up in beauty in fear of not facing potential tragic consequences?”

“I… was.”

“Your life will pass by, Jen-Jen. It’ll fade away just like another year, not any different from the previous one, and the one before, and soon you will find yourself... standing by its frame," She takes a shaky breath, "looking at it and realizing you can’t do anything about it anymore now.”

Lisa looks at her. Stripped of everything else at that moment. No malice, no judgement, just… simplicity at wanting to convey the sincerity of the words, of the plainness of the idea and how she wants Jennie to take them and be more… open to taking in chances, and opportunities and to hell with the consequences. She sees tears and instinctively reaches out, every nerve in her body wanting to hug her. She played with the sand by her toes and tried hard not to make it too obvious, but Lisa knows. Doesn't know how, but she does. 

“Don’t. You can be anything you want. Anything and everything there is and isn’t just yet. Don’t live your life in blanks. Me or no me, doesn’t really matter. I want you to be invincible. Go do something courageous. Go. Now!”

Then Jennie's looking at her, looking a bit more, and more. And Lisa feels being pulled at, towards her… like gravity. And then she just breaks away and dashes along the shore, something about it makes Lisa long for more. Then she halts and storms back and pulls Lisa by the wrist and whispers a breathless “I don’t want to do it alone.” Then they’re running toward the waves.

* * *

https://youtu.be/zgwdQVHpAR0

The water's warm, and Lisa thinks it's perfect just the way it is. 

"Sunlight looks good on you." 

Everything was reflected by the water around them, and Lisa finds it breathtakingly captivating how sunlight seems to kiss Jennie as she floats on her back, her brown hair spread out against the waves that came in every once and a while crashing against them. 

"Hmmm…" 

She reaches out, pulling a shocked but clearly amused Jennie towards her. 

"Sunlight…" she leans closer, grazing the tips of her nose against Jennie's. Liking how she's able to see the golden flecks in Jennie's eyes and feel her warm breath against her lips. "Looks good on you." 

It takes every bit of patience inside her not to kiss her there. Against the waves and the sun. 

"Sunlight looks good on everybody." 

Lisa thinks it was her smile but she knows it was more than that. It was  _ her.  _ All of  _ her.  _ Pulling Lisa in towards her center of gravity, towards her orbit where she finds it hard to break away from. 

She pulls Lisa beneath the surface, and it's  _ different _ . Everything about it is  _ different _ and  _ new _ . 

For a moment it registers in Lisa's mind. They weren't in a dingy, public pool anymore. Not under moonlight, shivering and clinging into each other's body heat. They were... surrounded by the bluest waters of the sea and the sound of waves that washed up on the shore, and it was warm, and she… she felt  _ limitless _ . 

_ Endless _ . 

_ Expansive _ . 

Lisa feels everything building inside her, wanting to burst free and so she pulls Jennie up. Where sunlight was reflected off the waters and where it falls perfectly against her and she knows nothing but that ...this was the perfect time for it.

She leans in and at first she feels hesitant. Only to have Jennie kiss her back with the same sense of tentative shyness. It feels  _ warm _ . She pulls away for a bit, seeing the uncertainty that always seemed to be there -- tucked under the multitude of emotions Jennie is hiding under, to...slowly fade away. Bit by bit and it makes Lisa smile. 

"How do I look against sunlight again?" Jennie whispers, her forehead touching Lisa's. 

"Perfect."

"You're biased." 

"Well… maybe I am." Lisa closes the gap, and kisses her deeply. Wanting to kiss away every bit of space that existed between them. There. Just, quite...beyond the surface. "But that doesn't mean it isn't true." 

"Keep that up and I might give you my last name…" 

Lisa laughs out loud, happiness bubbling over. 

"Well, can I trade that off for why I smoke unlit cigarettes?" 

"I'll think about it…" Jennie giggles before pulling her in for another kiss that seemed more desperate. More rushed, and Lisa doesn't mind taking  _ all  _ of her in this way. 

* * *

  
https://youtu.be/9ifR2A9Afbk

Lisa thinks it's ironic… no, funny. Hilarious… how they find themselves standing there. In front of her little modest bakery. Everything about her smelt of the sea and she finds it hard not looking at Jennie. 

"You have a habit of staring…" 

She could hear the humor and Lisa finds herself laughing again. 

"You're… definitely  _ something _ ." 

"What's  _ that _ supposed to mean?!

"Don't worry it means something good…" Lisa grins and takes a step forward towards her. "I had a great afternoon.." 

"Me too…" 

"I guess, this is where you take your leave now, and where I'll find myself regretting for not pushing you to give me your last name and spending the next months, hell… maybe even the next years hoping we'd bump into each other again or --" 

"Kim." 

Lisa finds herself confused.

"Huh?" 

"Kim… my last name's Kim…" and Lisa's breathless all over again. She thinks… she can get used to this. Being breathless and all. "Will you tell me why... they're unlit?" 

"Su..sure…" if there's anyone in this world that could rattle the entire galaxy inside her. It was Jennie Kim. "They help with the addiction… kinds of tricks the brain into thinking I'm smoking when I'm really not. See? Nothing special." 

"Good." 

She closes the distance between them "Otherwise I wouldn't like doing this as much" she plants a soft kiss on Lisa's cheeks before whispering, "call me tonight, yeah?" 

Lisa feels her phone vibrate and turns to Jennie with a questioning look when she sees the unknown number flashing on the screen with the notification. 

**Xxx-xxx-9532**

**_Sorry, it took me a year._ **

She gives Lisa a smirk and a wink before turning around and walking away. Disappearing at the corner of the block. 

Lisa hears nothing else but her own laughter echoing the pounding in her chest.

**_Better late than later…_ **

**Sent**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's to hoping Blackpink gets their first music show win today! 
> 
> Also, thank you for reading. Hope everyone's doing well? Here have some hugs 🤗, hope this makes up for anything that might not be going as well or as planned today. .
> 
> Have an awesome Sunday everybody. 🧡

**Author's Note:**

> Also, please take time to go through these carrds 
> 
> https://twitter.com/mlmsokka/status/1273313522047303683?s=19 
> 
> Thank you! Hope everyone is doing well and that you guys get to have an awesome weekend ahead. Stay safe loves <3


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